I'm not there

A film that I’m looking forward to watch is “I’m not there”. The film is a new type of biopic that illustrates the life of iconic singer-songwriter, Bob Dylan, at several different stages.

Why I’m really looking forward to this film is to see Heath Ledger, Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, and Richard Gere portray Bob.

Also looking forward to see if the film can pull of its interesting take or just falls off as an “attempt” at being different.

Cashmere Mafia

How long will it last?

Is Cashmere Mafia the new "answer" to Sex and the City, but with more style and updated fashion trends? Will it last the strong competition with the other TV series that are sprouting out everywhere, every season?

Cashmere Mafia is an upcoming American television series created by Kevin Wade. Wade has written other materials including Maid in Manhattan. How predictable. No points for guessing how CM is going to end...

The Art of Posing

Recently corresponding to the explosion of Facebook and vainpots wannabe, I started noticing how ladies and girls alike, pose in front of the camera.

OK, that's not entirely true - I have always noticed how people pose/stand/freeze in front of the lens. And unfortunately, only very few have mastered the art of posing amateur-ly.

Anyhow, this realization prompted my latest inspiration for an entry here. How to Pose Delightfully – only for amateur. If you’re a pro – you should spank yourself if you still find news here.

For this lesson/entry, I have selected a few delightful ladies from Vogue’s best dress runner up list. According to current trend and style, there is only one way a lady should pose when she’s clad in a beautiful flowy, tight, long, short, colorful, black, monotonous, exciting, chic – skirt.

See the exhibits below for illustration:

Lovely Maria Sharapova

Ever the fashion challenger, Chlöe Sevigny

Nice attempt from Sienna Miller. But she needs more work on being elegant.

By standing with your legs crossed, you create a slimmer and lengthier illusion of your legs. Your hips are slender and the cross of the legs streamlines and enhances the hourglass shape. Knobbly knees and stumpy ankles are hidden and instead the audiences are drawn by the exuding demureness of the person. Smile gracefully, with a knowing twinkle in the eye, saying – there’s more than meets the eye ;-)

And click – everyone is suddenly photogenic.

There is, however, an alternative for those who cannot master the crossed-legs pose. If your ankles are clicking vehemently when you try standing with your legs crossed, you might want to either start strenghtening your ankles or consider the option below.

You can, and should, just stand straight, with your feet slight apart (not too much!) and smile cheerfully. If your feet are too close, they more often than not will end up looking bowed or that you have a serious case of rickets.

Straight forward like Lauren Davis.

Beware; however, there is a big NO-NO in posing. Never do this:

If you need to pee, go pee before taking the picture.

Few more nudes

Just a few more evidences of the Nude Heels invasion.

Top it with Satin!

The last time one of my fashion advice really hit it off, was when I featured some Top Shop wares.
So I decided, why not try it again?

After 30mins of scanning, I decided to advance slightly from my previous Top Shop entries by pairing up pieces (basic pairing – what can you expect in 30mins?).

First of all, I absolutely skipped everything designed by Kate Moss. I agree with everyone that Ms. Moss is a fashion icon, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she can design. It’s cool that fashion houses like Top Shop and H&M are roping in celebrities to launch their lines (I see it as charity work), but seriously, if they can design, they would’ve been designers. M by Madonna and H&M loves Kylie were total flops. Madonna’s line nearly went straight to Sales and Discounts while Kylie’s swimwear collection was by far below ordinary. Ms. Moss is not doing any better either and I would highly advice anyone from blindly purchasing something just because it’s celebrity stamped.

Sorry for the detour, but now, let’s get down to business shall we?

For this entry, I have selected three tops and a dress. Most of which are made from silky or satin-ish fabrics. Silk and satin when designed tastefully provides a stylish sheen that radiates woman and elegance. It falls gently onto the wearer’s body, giving a soft yet mature attitude as it takes care and attention to keep your satin garbs from crumpling or getting dirtied (think sweat patches…eww).
The first two pieces are an electric blue satin blouse with pleats in front and cuffed sleeves and a white satin top with Victorian inspired frill details.

The electric blue gives a modernistic take on a rather soft material balancing the contradiction nicely. Slapping on a waist cincher such as a belt will add on some shape to the otherwise loose blouse. Belt could be leather for maturity or sequined for fun. Or, adding on a chunky colored necklace can also replace the accessory factor (but may overwhelm the pleat details).

The white satin top can be left alone as it is with its own white sash. Otherwise, you’re also more than welcome to experiment by replacing the white sash with other alternatives to give any desired effect. From big fat belts for a hipper look or just another colored satin sash for variety.

Both satin tops can be worn with jeans, either cropped or skinnies. Why jeans. Unless you’re going to a formal function, then you can wear them with pants; otherwise it’s an overkill of lux. Denim turns down the volume on glam and adds a chic touch to the satins. As for pairing with skirt, you will have to tuck in the tops to avoid looking like a multi layered umbrella. Look, the tops are already girly; you don’t need a skirt to further emphasize your gender.

Next we have a brown satin dress with print details. A dress such as this is awesome with nearly any kind of shoes. But to carry off the current trend of vintage, you could try pairing it up with some Mary Jane’s or courts. Wedges are cool for retro and you can spice it up with some unexpected color like blue for some eye-catcher factor (wedges are normally already brown, so that will coordinate with the dress and undermines blue or any other color from being as eye sore). Avoid flats if possible, I mean, why be pretty when you can be beautiful?

Finally, I have the waistcoat. Absolutely fun and classic! Will go with nearly anything, since it’s independently such a cool item, so why not go all the way and pair it with the controversial high waist wide legged pants? Wear them to work and no one can complain because it’s not casual and at the same time, increase the style standards at your workplace.

Nude Heels

Some people ask me where I find my fashion answers and I give them all sort of silly answers. Because honestly, I don’t really know. I think it could’ve been from my childhood when I used to play with my mom’s dresses and shoes (destroying most of them in the progress); staring endlessly at fashion spread from stolen magazines (mom forbids fashion magazines; thinks it’s viceful) and inspecting every single lines and shadows and colors that has been meticulously captured by some legendary photographer (and further perfected by graphic designers – pffft!); but quite importantly too, is watching other (stylish) people and learn how trends can and should be played out in reality.

A few months ago, under some very special circumstances, I had the opportunity to meet a rather ordinarily interesting woman who simply exudes – elegance and style. She has since inspired me to write two entries specifically dedicated to her hair and her shoes (her pencil skirt already hit my other previous entry). Her hair was short yet feminine (see “Necking it”) and her shoes…ahh, they were Nude Heels.

It has been a while since I’ve seen any decent ladies wearing a nice pair of Nude Heels (so much so that I hardly could find any pictures with them!). I nearly forgot how magical they can be.

Heels in general are great for any woman who can carry them off. If someone describes you as gliding, floating, or even walking in heels –you’re fine. But if you think you’re more like teetering, then it’s best you wear something lower and healthier.

Otherwise, here’s a reminder of why you should slip on a pair of heel anytime:

1. They create the illusion of longer legs


2. They push your feet into a sensual arch


3. They lift your derriere into a cute perk and


4. They make you sway seductively when you walk
   

But a pair Nude Heels – they add value. By very fact that the color of the shoes is nearly the same as most skin colors, Nude Heels further enhance the illusion of elongated legs and having a continuous arch of the feet. It’s like having a natural sway and a naturally arched feet and long legs. It’s like wearing clothes but not really. It’s like Nude but with elegance and style.


So the next time you run out of idea what shoes to buy next – Nude Heels.

PS. July is the month of high heels racing.

Necking it

The season of short hair was literally kick started when the ever eccentric Selma Blair decided to challenged the beauty industry with her punk cut.

Despite it's controversial start (many raved about how modernistic and a step forward it is, while others just squabbled about how it was too bold, whatever), Selma managed to inspire many other ladies to chop it off as well.

Sienna Miller and Rihanna shows of the short hair evolution

Hair cuts are contagious. You need one person to start and the rest will get the itch. As we can see how Selma's hairdo has evolved over the next several months into something more soft and acceptable.

As most well spotted and well styled by Victoria Beckham.

Looking her elegant self.

Going casual.

Or just going abouth her daily routine - shopping.

Also spotted on BFF and latest addition of chic-moms, Katie Holmes (most likely adviced by Vic herself).

And most recently, the campaign look for clothing giant H&M.

Ladies, it's time to get some fresh air down that neck!

Grindhouse Vol 1

It all began with the trailer.

Most of the times, trailers are misleading. We see a really cool trailer that either shows a lot of cool scenes or is done in a very unconventional way (sometimes too unconventional that we have no idea what the movie is about) and our chances are that all the good scenes were completely used in the two minutes trailer or the director spent more effort in editing the trailer than the movie.

So when I saw this really awful trailer (watch the trailer here, unfortunately with Dutch sub) about a guy who drives a beat up car with a skull printed on the hood and had the worst toe curling one-liners for exaggeratedly washout blondes who happens to sit at a bar in movie that’s further worsen with the most unoriginal title I ever heard of in a long time (that was before I saw Next), I thought, “Man, where did that come from?”…and continued munching my popcorn.

Not till I realized nearly a month later, that that thought almost became my biggest film mistake.

So a month after I saw that seriously horrible trailer, I was sitting not so innocently at a very seedy but tasty (must be the MSG and Oyster Sauce) Chinese restaurant where a waiter tried to cheat me and my friends by putting two orders in one plate; someone just had to gushed so effusive-ly that she had seen the Lap Dance of all lap dance in a movie call Death Proof. The movie call Death Proof.

This girl who happened to seen Death Proof couldn’t stop ooh-ing and ahh-ing about how the Lap Dance was the ultimo of all lap dance (well excuse me, she didn’t exactly describe it with words), so I decided to expand her impulsive oohs and ahhs into a conversation by probing for more tips about this movie. But mostly wondering why anyone would even bother to watch that film after seeing its trailer and at the same time, why they didn’t show the lap dance in the trailer (Apparently, now that I rewatch the trailer, 1 milisecond of the lap dance is there).

In the next 48 hours after that not so innocent Chinese food incident, my entire internet surfing was dedicated solely to these words: Grindhouse 2007. After that I couldn’t stop talking and preaching to everyone about how ingénue the idea of Grindhouse is, I became an instant (though temporary) Tarantino and Rodriguez (the creators of the films) nerd telling everyone about their bios and their future plans and how incredulously awesome it was for them to not only come up with the idea for Grindhouse but:

1. To exploit the Grindhouse concept
2. To make two films in one
3. To have fictional trailers in between each (and with Nicholas Cage and Danny Trejo no less!)
4. I’m sure there’s more to be listed

Finally after three days of preaching Grindhouse, I finally got me self a ticket to – Death Proof. One half of the Grindhouse set. How disappointing. Apparently, when it came out in the US the ticket sales were below expectations and the rest of the world decided to play is nice and safe and separated the film into two installments. Blasphemy.

What it used to be before it got chopped

Nothing can describe the excitement I felt when the first frame came onto the screen. I was practically bouncing up and down in my seat and had to be pressed down by my husband. The next 127 minutes were orgasmic in a film kinda way. Every scene every frame that unfolds delivers a film treat one after another continuously.

The first half actors were good but I have to agree that yes, I was a bit smitten by Vanessa Ferlito’s performance and that lap dance. Tarantino really knows what he’s talking about when he says pot bellies are sexy - and he shows that damn well by exploiting the sex element in the films. I mean, Vanessa practically set a benchmark for lap dance with just her t-shirt, shorts, slippers and her cute little pot belly.

Pot belly chick to the left.

(Spoilers in this line) And the crash scene – that was so cool. Somehow, seeing Jungle Julia’s leg flying off was just raw. But a bit sad to see lap dance girl go.

The famous leg that constantly exploited throughout the 1st half till it flew off.

The second half worked the film even better with the likes of Rosario Delicious Dawson and Tracie Loud Thoms. Rosario was as beautiful as she always is, though more like a waffle crapper than eye candy. Absolutely lurrve her outfits in the movie too – relaxed yet eccentric and totally exploiting her curves. I did say it was an exploitatious film. While Tracie was just loud as eva with her fuck-me-and-I’ll-up-your-ass wits; though at a good balance of not completely turning off the audience as some actors tend to do.

The ladies struttin' it...

But the star of the second half was definitely hands down Zoë Bell! Starring as herself and just being herself really gave her a difference to the other actors. I know she’s professionally a stunt woman, but you could really see who’s acting and who’s pro-acting during their breakfast scene – either way, the ladies were lovely.

GAWD!! I just realized that I have been such a total DUMBO!! I should most definitely get a double roundhouse kick at my big head for actually forgetting to mention KURT RUSSELL until now!! For that, I will write his name in caps. It was a great idea for Tarantino to give KURT RUSSELL back the true glory of being a total baddie. And even though the all out evil baddie didn’t last through the last few minutes of the film, KURT RUSSELL managed to convince us as an exaggerated everyday stuntman who is a Joe Average with a few nuts loose.

Seriously girls, if you ever see a guy with a skull printed on his car - run for your life. Cos' either he's a psycho or has chronic bad style.

All in all, although I have to wait more than three months after the rest of the world have watched Shrek 3, I can gloat in glee that I managed to watch one of the world’s masterpiece when others might not even have the chance to catch a glimpse.

And maybe…maybe…damn. My goody-alter-ego wishes me to say that it is also a pity that many people might never even hear or come across the existence of such a rare film gem as this. So read it here and read it loud – Grindhouse is a must watch!

Pirates sinking in the Ocean

Since I’ve procrastinated writing about the Pirates, I will pleasure you with not one but TWO reviews instead!

Pirates was disappointing and so was Oceans. There.

Ok, ok…as I don’t want to go down history as the lazy bastard (although I highly suspect that I won’t be the only one in this blogosphere), I will deliberate a tiny little bit more about these two disappointing endeavors of mine.

Sigh, how should I start with Pirates?

Johnny: Aiii...did they bring him back too?

I love you Johnny Depp, your acting is great, so great that it barely and just nearly saves the entire Pirates from sinking into the endless depth of Davy Jones Locker. Or maybe it should. It’s an obvious fact that Johnny is the only one carrying the movie, or atleast, the producers are playing on that card. Personally I think Bill Nighy is just as wonderful as Davy Jones as Keira Knightley is horrendous as the sticks in dress.

Fashion note: The belt Elizabeth Swann (sticky Keira) is wearing is oh-so-now, totally Gucci, and front page Harpers and two page spreads in Vogue. Very good choice to make the wearer look slimmer and have a cinch waist. Not sure why Keira needed that.

OK sorry, making sarcastic statements bout people’s physique is not nice, shame on me. BUT I once remembered a comedian telling me that it’s alright to make fun of others (regardless the sensitivity) as long as you can do the same to yourself – first. So I’m short and fat and Keira is a stick in a dress. Fair.

The "new" pet accessory for today: drop the chihuaha for a monkey on the shoulder. Atleast monkeys know how to do tricks.

But back to the acting, Orlando Bloom is nice but Will Turner is boring and one dimensional. My dog would do a better portrayal and atleast look honestly adorable than Will trying to look…look…hmm, what does he look anyway? See. Knowing these disadvantages, the producers decided that they must be smart and play up the Johnny card, but unfortunately played wrongly. This resulted in many unnecessary scenes of Johnny with Johnny and Johnny.

Orlando: Gee Geoffrey, do you reckon my tan is working under all this cloth? Do you think Steven can maybe make my costume more baring? Need to work on this tan man, girls love it!
Geoffrey: Whatever, I'm trying to find my monkey...what's that up your ass?

Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End is a very ambitious movie, a movie with boundless expectations to live up to (tsk tsk), and many holes left opened. The plot was straightforward but long winded (tsk tsk), which is not the best recipe when combined with bland acting. It’s like having too many dishes in one meal but no salt.

Right, on to Ocean’s 13 shall we? Same predicament. I should have taken the hint from the very ordinary trailer.

How can these guys not be cool?

Honestly, I LOVE Ocean’s 12, I absolutely adore go crazy bonkers about Ocean’s 12 because it’s so damn cool and awesome! Wonderful acting, exciting surprising plot, great humour, lots of fun, to die for clothing, something you can watch over and over and over again. And the best thing about it is that the sequel can actually outdo their first installment! A feat not many films can achieve, save for the few monumental ones, starting with Matrix (who incidentally started this whole crappy trend of Film 1, Film 2, Film 3 in the recent years…crap, if I want sequels I can watch a serial on TV. Atleast the one week suspense won’t kill me).

One of the many lame-o elements. No reason at all to bring back the Night Fox if he only had less than 5mins screen time. Seriously, was it necessary??! Oh yeah, big fashion NO-NO too, to wear prints that matches your background - unless you're at a chameleon party.

But Ocean’s 13 was sad. Again, it was too ambitious and had too big a shoe to fill. However, you can’t go wrong with the acting of those dudes in Ocean’s! They are still fantastic and great to watch; the signature quick wits were still around but not as gratifying as #12. There were too many stories happening at the same time and unnecessary scenes. I never understood why Steven Soderbergh couldn’t do better in delivering Reuben’s scenes. They were plainly put – boring.

The best part, was to see Linus all grown up.

His noes grew too. Anyway, will write, when I write again.

YoHoHo...a pussycat GOES!

Coming up....

Nuff said.

Spiderman is....Good Charlotte!

So now we know. Spiderman is actually the secret member of Good Charlotte. He just only reveals it when he’s mean and bad. OOoohhh…right.

OK. Before I go any further slamming this movie, we must be the bigger person to understand and accept that it is after all – a comic movie. C’mon, how far can you go with a comic strip??!! Apparently quite far as shown in Sin City. So how come Spidey wasn’t given a fair chance by Sam Raimi this time? Not enough budgets?

Vainy Spidey: "Me Macho Macho Man!"

Spiderman Three can be described in three words: CORNY, LAME-O, OVER-EXXAGERATED-LETS-ALL-LOVE-AMERICA. Seriously. I laughed till I teared when the star spangled banner was “coincidentally and conveniently” flying in the background, inches next to Spidey, when he was webbing his way to save his lovely red head. It was SO corny I just had to laugh.

Honestly, the best character must’ve been Venom. He was honest to god (or something similar) the scariest (relativity, dear), the most evil (in good old school style where they have no remorse whatsoever), and with the best looking outfit. Besides that, the rest of the characters were rather pathetic or somehow uncommitted to perform their roles.

Venom's dentist never survived after saying "Say Ahh....AAHHhhh!!!!"

It all went down hill when James Franco, playing Goblin Junior (Aww…such a cutie namie), stepped out from the gas chamber. If you listened closely, behind the evil music cue, you can nearly hear Sam shouting “Look evil, James! Show me the evil! Show me the evil!” And show the evil James did. Although unfortunately, James interpretation of evil was – raise one eyebrow, slight sneer on the left corner of lips, look menacing. It all sounds evil, yeah, but anyone can do that. Even that annoying four year old kid next door can do it. Ask him; he might even do a better job than James here, because atleast the kid’s is truly evil. James…well, he was obviously trying.

Evil Goblin Junior with most menacing stare. OOoohh...scary.

James showing off his unique skills of raising one, only one, eyebrow.

And then Goblin Junior had to be so embarrassing in his debut. Despite a rather fast paced action sequence with Spidey, Goblin Jr.’s scene was short killed. Somehow he survived all the super hard knocks from Spidey and his own ultra sharp blade nicks like any other superheroes or superbaddies, but Goblin Jr. had to passed out like a 12 year old girl who knock her head on her pillow when he fell of his board.

James attempt to look ultra friendly, boy next door in the next majority part of the film was pathetic too. So I’ll just skip that.

At some point in the first part of the movie, I was nearly tricked into believing that I’m actually in the wrong cinema watching a slap stick comedy. Look, we all know Peter Parker is nerdy and all, but we don’t need to use classical boring examples of outright stupidity to exemplify that. It’s like Sam was trying to put too many ingredients into one movie. Not good. It’s funny to see him doing nerdy dance moves on the streets of NY, but honestly, that was unnecessary. If someone is mean, they’re mean ok. I mean, go beat up some dog or something. Kill a spider, yeah.

One bad spidey that had a photoshop makeover.

The makeup artist should get slap or fired. Look, Tobey Maguire has a unique face that doesn’t look evil just by applying eyeliner and not washing hair for 3 weeks. He just ends up looking like a chubby Good Charlotter.

Otherwise, the best line in the movie was the last one by Spidey himself: “Whatever battles rages inside us, we always have a choice… it’s the choices that make us who we are*, and we can always choose to do right.” It’s just too bad that this movie came out four years too late. If not, the world might have, just might have, been a better place.

*Ooh...is Prof. Dumbledore going to cast a spell on Spidey for plagiarism?

All in all, it was disappointing if you expected something like Spiderman One and Two. Mary Jane Watson and May Parker were the only ones who remain consistent. One, because Kirsten Dunst always act the same and look the same. Secondly, Rosemary Harris…she hardly have any screen time, so it’s hard to be different.

I forgot to metion that Mary Jane's attire throughout the film was awesome! Especially love that green dress and that blouse-skirt set!

But if you’re just another die hard movie fan like me, then it's definitely a must to watch Spiderman Three since you have watched the first two. Always finish something you start, just like your mommy said. But if you’re not, then just stay at home and read my blog.