Grindhouse Vol 1

It all began with the trailer.

Most of the times, trailers are misleading. We see a really cool trailer that either shows a lot of cool scenes or is done in a very unconventional way (sometimes too unconventional that we have no idea what the movie is about) and our chances are that all the good scenes were completely used in the two minutes trailer or the director spent more effort in editing the trailer than the movie.

So when I saw this really awful trailer (watch the trailer here, unfortunately with Dutch sub) about a guy who drives a beat up car with a skull printed on the hood and had the worst toe curling one-liners for exaggeratedly washout blondes who happens to sit at a bar in movie that’s further worsen with the most unoriginal title I ever heard of in a long time (that was before I saw Next), I thought, “Man, where did that come from?”…and continued munching my popcorn.

Not till I realized nearly a month later, that that thought almost became my biggest film mistake.

So a month after I saw that seriously horrible trailer, I was sitting not so innocently at a very seedy but tasty (must be the MSG and Oyster Sauce) Chinese restaurant where a waiter tried to cheat me and my friends by putting two orders in one plate; someone just had to gushed so effusive-ly that she had seen the Lap Dance of all lap dance in a movie call Death Proof. The movie call Death Proof.

This girl who happened to seen Death Proof couldn’t stop ooh-ing and ahh-ing about how the Lap Dance was the ultimo of all lap dance (well excuse me, she didn’t exactly describe it with words), so I decided to expand her impulsive oohs and ahhs into a conversation by probing for more tips about this movie. But mostly wondering why anyone would even bother to watch that film after seeing its trailer and at the same time, why they didn’t show the lap dance in the trailer (Apparently, now that I rewatch the trailer, 1 milisecond of the lap dance is there).

In the next 48 hours after that not so innocent Chinese food incident, my entire internet surfing was dedicated solely to these words: Grindhouse 2007. After that I couldn’t stop talking and preaching to everyone about how ingénue the idea of Grindhouse is, I became an instant (though temporary) Tarantino and Rodriguez (the creators of the films) nerd telling everyone about their bios and their future plans and how incredulously awesome it was for them to not only come up with the idea for Grindhouse but:

1. To exploit the Grindhouse concept
2. To make two films in one
3. To have fictional trailers in between each (and with Nicholas Cage and Danny Trejo no less!)
4. I’m sure there’s more to be listed

Finally after three days of preaching Grindhouse, I finally got me self a ticket to – Death Proof. One half of the Grindhouse set. How disappointing. Apparently, when it came out in the US the ticket sales were below expectations and the rest of the world decided to play is nice and safe and separated the film into two installments. Blasphemy.

What it used to be before it got chopped

Nothing can describe the excitement I felt when the first frame came onto the screen. I was practically bouncing up and down in my seat and had to be pressed down by my husband. The next 127 minutes were orgasmic in a film kinda way. Every scene every frame that unfolds delivers a film treat one after another continuously.

The first half actors were good but I have to agree that yes, I was a bit smitten by Vanessa Ferlito’s performance and that lap dance. Tarantino really knows what he’s talking about when he says pot bellies are sexy - and he shows that damn well by exploiting the sex element in the films. I mean, Vanessa practically set a benchmark for lap dance with just her t-shirt, shorts, slippers and her cute little pot belly.

Pot belly chick to the left.

(Spoilers in this line) And the crash scene – that was so cool. Somehow, seeing Jungle Julia’s leg flying off was just raw. But a bit sad to see lap dance girl go.

The famous leg that constantly exploited throughout the 1st half till it flew off.

The second half worked the film even better with the likes of Rosario Delicious Dawson and Tracie Loud Thoms. Rosario was as beautiful as she always is, though more like a waffle crapper than eye candy. Absolutely lurrve her outfits in the movie too – relaxed yet eccentric and totally exploiting her curves. I did say it was an exploitatious film. While Tracie was just loud as eva with her fuck-me-and-I’ll-up-your-ass wits; though at a good balance of not completely turning off the audience as some actors tend to do.

The ladies struttin' it...

But the star of the second half was definitely hands down Zoë Bell! Starring as herself and just being herself really gave her a difference to the other actors. I know she’s professionally a stunt woman, but you could really see who’s acting and who’s pro-acting during their breakfast scene – either way, the ladies were lovely.

GAWD!! I just realized that I have been such a total DUMBO!! I should most definitely get a double roundhouse kick at my big head for actually forgetting to mention KURT RUSSELL until now!! For that, I will write his name in caps. It was a great idea for Tarantino to give KURT RUSSELL back the true glory of being a total baddie. And even though the all out evil baddie didn’t last through the last few minutes of the film, KURT RUSSELL managed to convince us as an exaggerated everyday stuntman who is a Joe Average with a few nuts loose.

Seriously girls, if you ever see a guy with a skull printed on his car - run for your life. Cos' either he's a psycho or has chronic bad style.

All in all, although I have to wait more than three months after the rest of the world have watched Shrek 3, I can gloat in glee that I managed to watch one of the world’s masterpiece when others might not even have the chance to catch a glimpse.

And maybe…maybe…damn. My goody-alter-ego wishes me to say that it is also a pity that many people might never even hear or come across the existence of such a rare film gem as this. So read it here and read it loud – Grindhouse is a must watch!